At the beginning of August 2004 I arrived in Hakuta, a town that has now become part of Yasugi City. Driving over an hour along Route 9 from the Izumo Airport with my welcoming new supervisor, Mr. Nagase, and my smiling new co-worker and neighbor, Kumiko, I felt increasingly uneasy as the landscape appeared to be turning into one massive rice field. Just a few months earlier it had been my dream to spend a year in rural Japan but now I felt confused, lonely and guilty. I suspected I was pregnant and, being unmarried, I was afraid of getting into a situation where having a baby was not only unwelcome but may also be frowned upon. After much frantic searching, I finally found, at the end of August, a wonderful doctor in Matsue who, with smiles, showed me my son's heart beating for the first time.
My biggest concern was that my child would not have the same stability that I had while growing up in the small Washington DC suburban town of Cheverly in Maryland. I was raised in the ideal family with two loving parents and four younger
sisters who had always looked up to me. In Cheverly I was able to contribute to the community by swimming as a child on the swim team and then coaching the swim team and teaching children how to swim. I felt proud of this contribution and it gave me the confidence to accomplish other goals. My parents shared my concerns about having a baby at this time in my life. My parents had six children−five daughters and one son, Christian Gabriel, who died at the age of two months of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). They didn't want me to experience the huge life-change of having a baby on my own, especially being so far away from home.
I wanted to have my baby and to be a good mother. With those goals in mind, I knew that everything else would have to fall into place. I never expected how much support I would receive from others. My boyfriend Chris was back at his home in Chester,England. When I told him the news of our pregnancy he committed himself to being involved. His parents were also fully supportive, invited me to spend Christmas with them in England and made plans to visit Japan after the birth. My mom also made plans to come to Japan for the birth of her first grandson.
When I told my employers at the Hakuta Board of Education that I would be having a baby they reacted with an outpour of support and helped me to figure out how I would balance work with my new family. Although there was an awkward language barrier at this time, we were able to communicate knowing that the outcome of my situation was a baby who needed to be loved and accepted. They welcomed me into their community as a soon-to-be mother. My supervisor told me that while it would be difficult to combine work and parenting, the experience would have life-learning and l i f e - t e a c h i n g advantages.
The next seven months would have been impossible without the loving care that my new friends in Shimane showed me. I made f r i e n d s w i t h remarkably good people on the JET Program and in my town. My friends threw me a lovely baby shower in Hirose and spent many beautiful moments talking about the future of my new family. The support I had from the people around me gave me the sense of stability I needed in order to prepare to become a mother.
 Christian is being held by Ms.Kanako Nishikori. |
My mother arrived two weeks before my son's due date, April 2nd. We bonded during this time, Japanese-style, doing tea ceremony together in Yonago, eating at a Japanese restaurant with the Superintendent of Schools in Yasugi, and trying to persuade my son to arrive while his Grandma Joani was still in Japan by running up and down the stairs of the Kiyomizudera Temple.
My son was born on the evening of April 6th in Seikyou hospital. My mom, Chris, and I had decided to name him Christian as a namesake to Christian Gabriel. It was amazing how much he resembled my baby brother. I stayed five days in the hospital after the birth, as is customary in Japan. This time gave me the chance to get to know Christian and learn from the helpful midwives and nurses in the hospital. My mom had to leave Japan four days after Christian's birth, which was very sad for both of us. She had become very attached to her grandson in that short time. Bringing Christian into the world, our time in Japan together had been so special.
Kumiko came to pick Christian and me up from the hospital, and on our way home the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. There was so much to look forward to: the arrival of his dad, Christian's blessing at a Shinto shrine organized by the Nishikiori Family in Hirose, the visit of "Grandma and Granddad England," the tulips blooming in Hakuta, visiting my family in America, and all of the beautiful moments my friends and I would experience
through Christian. There is an African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." Holding Christian's little hand in the back of Kumiko's car, I felt safe and blessed knowing that a village full of smiles and open arms was waiting to welcome him into the world. Christian truly lives in a global village, having family on three different continents and friends all over the world. I cannot wait to see what his unique contribution to this village will be.
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