“YOU MAKE ME FEEL LUCKY TODAY!”
By Jason Bickley

This edition, Jason continues the story of his visit to Vietnam. The title of this article was what a beach peddler said to him, in order to make him feel better about buying a T-Shirt.

Ana. Are you familiar with her? She is the Devil's Incarnate of the clothes making industry in Hoi An. She is devastatingly beautiful, delightfully charming, and dangerously gifted in the art of emptying wallets. As you laugh away in her shop, telling each other jokes and what not, she is patiently calculating your weak spots, and cashing in on them! Altogether we had pyjamas, trousers, shorts, shirts, coats, tops, bottoms and a fake leather jacket made in Hoi An; the majority of our hard earned American Dollars were sent in Ana's direction. The great thing about getting clothes tailor made is the fact that you can get anything made. Like the photo shows, one chap had an Elvis outfit made to his specifications, "The King" emblazened across his pelvis and all.

Hoi An was a really pretty town, in a mouldy kind of way. That hardly sounds flattering I know, but maybe the time of year was to blame. Everything was damp, and yellow. A persistant mist would turn into thunderous rain at night, and would be gone by dawn. If I had to describe the town with one word, it would have to be "Quaint". Here and there were shops, selling crafts, tailoring clothes and shoes, and there were traditional lantern shops that would emit a colourful glow in the evenings. The wharf-front restaurants too would cast a soft light on their patrons, while they quietly enjoyed the mellow atmosphere.

After a hellish bus ride that took ten hours, not the promised eight (it broke down - twice), we reached Nha Trang.
Driving along, I noticed these plateaued mounds scattered in the sand dunes. Pretty quickly I came to realise that these must have been graves as some of the mounds had pagoda shaped tombstones, and delicate brick walls around them.
For those of you who know Thailand, Nha Trang is the Pattaya of Vietnam. Though not quite on the same scale as Pattaya, Nha Trang offers a friendly beach resort atmosphere. I probably would have really enjoyed my stay there, New Years Eve and all had I not fallen terribly ill. For about two days, I was bedridden with a high fever, dizziness and a throbbing pain in my eyeballs.

When I wasn't dying, we hired a motorbike from the hotel we were staying at, and rode all over Nha Trang, from the giant Seated Buddha, to the rocky promitory, and the nearby beaches. It was my first time navigating a motorised vehicle through right hand side traffic. I thought I did pretty well considering that there was hardly any traffic law.
One thing about Nha Trang really bugged me. It was a great beachside city, but the beaches themselves fell short of expectations. The sun may be warm, the wind cool, and the sea an emerald green. In the middle distance fishing boats bob silently, and in the far distance various islands in different shades of pastel green. But taking a stroll down the beach uncovered a dead chicken, a dead rat, and seven hypodermic needles - and I wasn't even trying. I read that Nha Trang has a drug problem, but even so, it sends shivers down your spine to think you could stand or sit on one of those needles if you weren't careful.

Nha Trang has a cafe called "The Banana Split Cafe". In fact it has two. Even more interesting is the fact that they are located side by side, yet have different owners. We had to see for ourselves if the legend of the fierce competition between the two shops was real. We were not disappointed when we arrived: the waitresses rushed towards us, trying to elbow each other out of the way to hand us the menu. The slogan of one of the shops reads: "Banana Split Cafe 60: Welcome to you, good service at reasonable". At reasonable what? I wondered as I drank my dragonfruit shake.

The last place we visited was Dalat, high in the mountains (1475m). It was cold enough to stoke an open fire during the evenings, a strange activity, considering we were in a south-east asian country. Dalat has a great place called Hang Nga Guesthouse. It really is worth visiting because if the mirrored ceilings don't take your fancy, running around endless twisted crazy corridors will. The buildings were shaped like safari animals and there were giant wire spider webs strung in the courtyard. Another place has a mini "Eiffel Tower", that was cheerfully lit up at night, its orange glow reflecting off the lake below it.

I left Vietnam thinking how two weeks passed by so quickly, and was thankful nothing bad happened at all. I was prepared to be mugged, attacked by prostitutes, arrested by Vietnamese Police: all the things the guide boooks warn you about, yet other than the fever, I had a somewhat safe and eye-opening journey. I promised Ana I'd mention her shop to every one I knew, so she got her mention in this story.. but when you visit her, don't ever say I didn't warn you!